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YOU KNOW IT’S AN EPIC HASH WHEN…
1 – 3 Submitted by Pebbles for Pussy (H4)
#1 … you’re not sure if everyone made it in.
#3 …you run out beer. Even the shitty beer.
4-6 Submitted by International Ho Fly Zone (RH3)
#4 …you can’t remember it due to all the beer stops along the way.
#5 …when your body looks like it got in a fight with a paper shredder and you stand proud.
#6 …everyone is yelling RU? but remain lost for hours until finally the hare has to run back and show the damn marks!
#8 …your sides hurt so much from laughing that you can’t even sing your usual verse of S&M Man. – Submitted by Reno Rubs
#9 …the pack ends up in someone’s wedding album. – Submitted by Cockmonkey
#10 …when that same cop that pissed on a homeless guy tries to give you alcohol poisoning at your naming. – On Myself, Everytime ( aka selfie, SL,UT DH3, LDSH3)
#11 …when your RA is so drunk he forgets the words to a song and messes up his own circle. – On Myself, Everytime
#12 …when the FRB tells you he hit every YBF and not only doesn’t Bitch about it but compliments how well layed your trail was. – On Myself, Everytime
#13 …when everything was such a blur last night you woke up and found out you blew out your knee on trail. – Fuky Charms (SL,UT H3)
#14 …even the Malört supply is gone. Also when you’re still finding glitter on things weeks later. – Ascot
#15 …you see on the news the following day about hikers rescued up the canyon and start calling around to see which wanks got left behind at a beer check. – Masseustitute
#16 …your friend, and fellow-Hasher, has to apologise profusely for the antics of the Hash who took advantage of his hotel’s hospitality by bombing everyone in the pool, throwing the chicas in dressed in white, and having Viking longboat races in the beer cooler (now empty, of course), all whilst accompanied by cries of ‘rape and pillage’ and various NSFW Hash songs. – Wufter (Rota 3 Kings H3)
#17 …you wake up in a bathroom stall at 4am in a green dress…and it is not the dress you arrived at hash in. – Masseustitute
#18 …you have to take a power nap in the grass outside the On-In bar. – TableTopper (Gulf Coast)
19 – 22 – Our Bloody Bitch (randomh3)
When you wake up with two phone numbers on the nightstand, two tacos on your chest and no recollection of how the night ended.
#19 …when you think crossing 10 lanes of I-85 is taking the easy way.
#20 …when you see flour on an alligator.
#21 …when people at On-After think you are anti-social and really you are just trying to not bleed on them.
#23 …Tuaca down downs…
#24 …(1) You lose a shoe or shoes. (2) You buy and then drink out of your new shoes. (3) You “lose” your new shoes. (4) Uppercunt returns your new shoes with penises drawn all over them. – Uppercunt (FUH3)
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POHO Hash House Harriers 
One of the cops who responded to a 911 call about your previous trail cums hashing with you…and accidentally pees on a homeless guy on trail.
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You wake up in a bathroom stall at 4am in a green dress.
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And it is not the dress you arrived at hash in.
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You wear the resulting forest herpes (poison ivy) with pride.
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The FRB tells you he hit every YBF and not only doesn’t Bitch about it but compliments how well layed your trail was.
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When your RA is so drunk he forgets the words to a song and messes up his own circle.
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When that same cop that pissed on a homeless guy tries to give you alcohol poisoning at your naming
– on myself, everytime ( aka selfie, SL,UT DH3, LDSH3)
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When everything was such a blur last night you woke up and found out you blew out your knee on trail Fuky Charms SL,UT H3
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Even the Malört supply is gone. Also when you’re still finding glitter on things weeks later.
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You see on the news the following day about hikers rescued up the canyon and start calling around to see which wanks got left behind at a beer check.
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Your friend, and fellow-Hasher, has to apologise profusely for the antics of the Hash who took advantage of his hotel’s hospitality by bombing everyone in the pool, throwing the chicas in dressed in white, and having Viking longboat races in the beer cooler (now empty, of course), all whilst accompanied by cries of ‘rape and pillage’ and various NSFW Hash songs.
On-On
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you have to take a power nap in the grass outside the On-In bar.
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When the trail is so steep you’re not sure how you survived with out ropes and a harness
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When you wake up with two phone numbers on the nightstand, two tacos on your chest and no recollection of how the night ended.
When you think crossing 10 lanes of I-85 is taking the easy way.
When you see flour on an alligator.
When people at On-After think you are anti-social and really you are just trying to not bleed on them.
Tuaca down downs…
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-You lose a shoe or shoes
-You get and drink out of your new shoes
-You lose your new shoes
-Uppercunt returns your shoes with penises drawn all over them
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You get 50 emails the next day to Craig’s List site advertising your underwear for sale from fellow hashers
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When a bus full of hashers from out of town show up unannouced before trail.
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When you have police cars escorting the entire kennel back to start.
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When muggles call your phone in the middle of the night to tell you they found your lost dog finding your number on a flyer for a scavenger hunt hash, and the dog happens to be a stuffed animal.
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When you have only hash flash pictures and stories at your disposal to assemble the previous evening’s blacked-out shenanigans.
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When you think crossing a live airport runway might be a shortcut.
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When you think you see the hare at the bottom of a big as hill so you and 10 other SCB’s go there to try and catch him and it turns out to be decoy planted by the hare.
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When you have been in storm drain a long time and the minimal light gives out. Then the level of the drain drops a foot.
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Guerilla beer check at a muggles pool with a hot tub over looking a valley on a hot day. The muggle pulls out a mini keg and snacks. 30 hasher were there at least 30 minutes.
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You are so drunk that you fall, break you hand at a Red Dress, and you don’t even know you broke it till the hangover wears off the next day!
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When an old Mormon woman threatens you with a garden hoe because your kennel t-shirt “ripped-off” her church’s logo.
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when you see someone running down the street with a horse mask on naked and stops to bend over cause they’re out of breath from yelling RU?
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your ass hurts so bad the next day you can’t sit down, and you don’t remember why until you look in the mirror and see hand prints!
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